But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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