Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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