The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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