i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
