This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
