I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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