at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
