did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
