yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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