the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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