In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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