Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
