Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
