I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
