I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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