I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
