so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize