He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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