I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
