can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
