so that wasnt chicken after all
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
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So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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