that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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