Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
