alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
