I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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