Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
