our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
