I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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