Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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