i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
