Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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