I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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