So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
