Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
