As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
May the power of my ass compel you!!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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