So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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