i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I could make wine with my vomit
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize