Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
