I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize