Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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