I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
