Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My life is pants optional.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
