I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
