Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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