been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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