i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
