You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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