'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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