my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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