on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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