Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Say something about gay babies.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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