is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
