Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
