ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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