Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
