Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
