Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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