I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
