No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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