i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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