the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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