Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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