I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
