Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
