I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
