dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
