normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
