I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize