Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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