There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
